


The Five Times She Fell for Him

by madgrace



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 03:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8147783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madgrace/pseuds/madgrace
Summary: A piece of Ashley had always loved Chris. But falling for him really was gradual and required several points for them to reach.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a oneshot I wrote on tumblr over a year ago. I remembered it today and thought I'd post it here.

The first time was a classic romance novel moment and she’s a bit embarrassed that she remembered it crystal clear.

   At 5′3 Ashley isn’t the tiniest freshman, but she certainly is small enough that her heavy backpack feels so heavy that she’s practically fallen over 4 times. Not only all her schoolbooks she’s got stuffed into her bag she’s got three more books in her hands, free reading books mind you but still. She’s rereading The Great Gatsby with great concentration, while tightly stowed under her arm she has To Kill a Mocking Bird & 1984. 

   Why is she bringing all of these to school? Well, To Kill a Mocking Bird is related to what they’re working on in history. She’s technically supposed to be reading 1984 in her spare time but it can be such an intense and horrific thing to read she just needs to take a break. While The Great Gatsby isn’t the most lighthearted thing with it’s ending and all but practically everything is lighter than 1984.

   Thinking logically she really shouldn’t be walking to class while reading but gosh she loves this part where Jay finally sees Daisy again at Nick’s house during tea. Ash’s not one for romance but wow it’s so picturesque and ——– BOOM!  
   Practically fallen over has turned to absolutely, definitely fallen over. Palms slammed on the ground, butt in the air, and all her novels scattered in front of her she probably looks like the biggest idiot. She prays she hasn’t rammed into a cool upperclassman or else her currently nonexistent reputation will turn into some kind of loser-clumsy-falling-stupidly reputation, a reputation she will carry from her first week of freshman year, throughout all four years. 

   "Wow, that was quite the tumble you took there, huh?”   
   Brows furrowed and prepared for laughter, Ashley raises her head from the shoes up to the amused expression of the boy she’s bumped into. A stocky boy with a sort goofy looking face and thick black glasses. Well a cute kind of goofy, but his face looks goofy all the same ( it could just be the goofy smile but she’s got a funny feeling it’s his entire face 24/7 ).

   She chuckles uncomfortably, brushing herself off as she gets up to her feet. “Y – Yeah, I guess I did. Haha…well, I’m gonna go —- gotta get to class.” She’s eager to get out grab her books, sprint off to her math class and never see goofy guy again. Okay she’s got Gatsby, Mockingbird but just as she reaches for 1984…“Yoink! Hey, 1984. Great book.”

   To use the same words goofy guy has used, great. He has her book and he knows the book. So it’s unlikely he’s going to give her back the book, at least until he’s done spoiling the half of the book she hasn’t finished. “Oh yeah? — Well yeah it is, I mean the bit I’ve read of it. It’s a little weird though.”  
     
"Well that’s kinda the point y’know. Not every book can be fairytales and Prince Charming ladida, goofy guy replies finishing off the second half in an airy voice as he twirled around with his arms raised over his head. She lets out a genuine giggle despite her embarrassment ( though now he’s willingly embarrassed himself so perhaps they’re even. ) 

   “For the princesses’ sake I hope you’re not Prince Charming.” She’s momentarily forgotten her book, as well her previously urgent desire to get to class right this minute as she continues to grin up at the other in amusement. “Not Charming per say,” he says in a sort of offhanded manner, “Prince Chris on the other hand, I am.”  
   
   “You, a Prince, you?” she replies, almost laughing as she finishes her sentence. “Don’t be so surprised,” he scoffs, raising a brow comically “I come from a long line of royalty all have you know. Now what be your name m’lady.” 

   “Lady Ashley of Gondor,” she replies with a swish of her hand. Don’t ask her why she’s playing along with him. But this is first remotely friendly face she’s met since started at this school ( mind you she’s only been here a couple days so she hasn’t had very long but still ). She can’t be spending her lunch eating alone and reading forever. Plus why waste a moment to reference Lord of the Rings?

   “Gondor, as in the Gondor?” Chris asks, in an impressed tone that implies that he certainly understood the reference. Good, someone she’d be happy to spend time with. She grins, half amused half flustered over the little game they’re playing. “Well,” he continues, “A lady of such find breeding shouldn’t have to carry her books herself. Here give ‘em here. ” 

   He gestures for her to hand the rest of her books in her hands. She hesitates a moment to hand him the books. As friendly and funny as he is, forgive her if she doesn’t leap into giving him her books, her babies right away. He could steal them, he could throw them, he could draw in them. On the other hand it could be nice to have her books carried. They are a little heavy and it is a really nice gesture. Furrowing her brow, she hands her books to him with slight reluctance. 

   “Nice, Nice…to the lockers, m’lady?” Gosh, she hope she hope he doesn’t say ‘m’lady’ anymore or she’ll burst into a fit of giggles ( though he probably gets off on that ). “Oh no, just to room 203. I like to carry my books around with me.” 

   “To read when the class gets boring?” he asks, looking just as amused as she’s probably looked the entire time she’s been talking to him. She’s not sure whether to be scandalized or just laugh. What she does is a sort mixture of both as she answers, “No. I get to class early usually so I’ll just read one of my books while I wait for the teacher. I read To Kill a Mocking Bird in History, 1984 in science and The Great Gatsby in everything else.”   
   “I take you it like Gatsby?” he asks, a question that’s doomed him to babbling about her favorite book. From then on and until he’s able to escape her when they reach her math class, she goes on and on about the plot, the characters, and the relationships of The Great Gatsby. But from the look on his face, it doesn’t look like he minded it.

The second was unexpected. Stupid, silly and so shocking that it hit her like a speeding truck.

   “Hey! Pay attention, Chris!”

   “But, Ash Apple just announced the new iPhone!”

   “Well you can read about your new girlfriend once we’re done with our study session.”

   It’s two years later, Ashley’s lying on her stomach with several text books in front of her, Chris has been either been distracted or complaining about the work the entire time. He’s lucky she’s determined to get him a better grade in either history or english or she would’ve left the 5th time he looked at his phone. 

   This isn’t a freebie though. He’s supposed to be helping her with math and science but an unfruitful hour has passed and she might as well be studying with a cartoon character with a phone, goofy, unhelpful, and with very stupid T-shirts. If she gets a C on her next science assignment she’ll kill him. 

   Ashley flits through her chemistry for a a couple minutes before she sees Chris again on his phone. Gosh she might not need to get a C to kill him. With the most irritated huff she can muster, she slams her book shut. Not to her surprise this doesn’t pull him away from his phone. Without a moment of hesitation she reaches forward and snatches his precious angel phone.

   “Hey! What gives, Ash?!” Chris gives her an expression distress and anger. It does nothing but delights her in all honesty. She’s almost tempted to shake his phone and say ‘nah nah nah nah nah’. But as that is a little bit immature she’ll lay off that…for now. “I’m holding onto this for now. We need to work, Chris.”

   His previous expression morphs into one of defeat. He knows better than to argue with her when she’s wigged out. He sort of slumps his shoulders as he pulls one of the many books in front of him. He looks through the book for maybe five minutes before looking back at her and saying, “Do we have to do this?” 

   “What’s your grade in English?”

   “B.”

   “ — and what is your grade in history?”

   “B-”

   “There’s my point.”

   “Fine.” He dives into the book again, wearing the most comically focused expression Ashley’s ever seen. This makes working even harder than having a nonparticipating Chris as she now has to work harder to concentrate as opposed to burst out laughing. God she hates him, not really but he does drive her crazy. 

   Obviously Ashley’s self control is not nearly as good as she thinks it is as she does indeed burst into laughter, her shoulders shaking as she watches his ‘focus’ break. Now it’s Chris’ turn to be exasperated. Though by the near smile she can see tugging at the corner of his lips she doubts he’s actually serious. “Really, Ash. We need to work. ” Throwing back her own words at her…oh he’s evil. She has no witty response in mind so all she can do is throw one of her many pencils at him. 

   “Oh no, this is war,” he replies, sparking fear in Ashley’s heart when she remembers how sharp he likes his pencils. She immediately ducks as soon as Chris starts hurling them at her. God, she’s surely going to die in battle. Sure she’s got more ammo but his is stronger. She’s got to get a hold of his pencils before it’s too late ( at this point all attempts of studying of been forgotten ).

   Ashley lunges forward for the pencils, making a sort of squeak like battle cry. Her fingers just brush them before he pushes her away and onto her back. The floor is hardly a cushy surface but that’s not going to make her give up. On the contrary she’s only going to try harder. Her arm crossing over over her body she turns to reach for the pencils again. 

   “I don’t think so!” Chris shouts making another attempt to block her again. This time however he practically pounces on top of her to keep her away from his pencils. Now that, that throws her entire battle plan completely upside down considering that her mind has gone entirely blank due to the fact that he’s fallen flat on top of her. Wow….um….what were they doing again?

   In what seems like no time at all her cheeks begins to flush a deep tomato red, her entire face burning hot as she struggles for something to say. Gosh she’s just so flustered. He’s never been this close before. She needs to get away right now this just feels so weird, not necessarily a bad weird but just….weird. 

   Chris’ reaction was probably just as immediate as hers, though from the looks of it he’s turned a darker shade of red. Unlike airheaded Ash however he does something besides blush like an idiot and gets off her, murmuring an incoherent apology as he gets up to his feet. 

   “Oh yeah, thanks. You’re kinda heavy.” Did she just say that? Stupid, stupid stupid. Well she’s about ready to make a hasty retreat. Not like they’d get any work done if she stayed. It would just awkward silence while they stared into their books to avoid looking at each other and getting embarrassed. She begins picking up books and pencils ( regardless of who they originally belonged to ), scared to even glance at Chris for even a split second. She can’t get any redder. Once she does gather her thing however she dare to look at him in order to say, “Okay, so I’m gonna go. If I show up late for dinner again this week my mom will kill me.” Not true but she needs an excuse.

   “Oh right, um yeah okay,” he mumbles, lifting a hand to scratch his neck in discomfort, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” 

   “Who else is gonna help me with my books?” There a joke, maybe that’ll make light of this embarrassing situation? Though in case this isn’t enough she also casts him a shy smile before she starts to turn and walk to the front door. Once she’s safe from his’ sight and out the door the thought does occur to Ashley. Chris looks really cute when he’s blushing.

The third was like a soft light in an abyss of total darkness.

  It’s been four hours since Beth and Hannah have gone out into the woods.Though if you’d looked into Ashley’s face, you’d think it’d been four days.

  Her brows furrow and green eyes overwrought with guilt she stares blankly into her lap. She’s taken off her hat, letting her red locks fall in front of her face.

  She’s so stupid. How could she participate in something so hurtful? How could she let herself be peer pressured into  completely humiliating one of her friends? Granted she’s not the closest to Hannah she could have been but really, it’s completely inexcusable. Now said humiliated friend and her sister are out in the cold and could be dead for all Ashley knew. She should be ashamed of herself.

  Everything just keeps replaying in her mind. Each step of their stupid, cruel prank playing like a shitty instant replay. The glint of excitement in her eyes, the muffled laughter of the others, Mike’s hushed words of false seduction…it’s all coming back to her now ( with an incredibly bitter aftertaste ).

  As the seconds slip through she finds herself at war with her own thoughts. She so desperately wants be the optimist and think the sisters are alright. They’re just lost out in the cold. They’ll be back shivering and furious at all of them any moment. But the truth is she’s not an optimist, she never has been. She’s a consistent realist and what’s real is the cutthroat conditions outside and Hannah’s lack of a winter coat. She’s most certainly freezing out there. It may be dark outside but the girls have been up at this mountain practically all their life. Getting lost would’ve been definitely harder for them being so familiar with the land.

  For the most part the room is silent, and by that she means silent save for Josh’s snoring by the bar. Thank god he hasn’t woken up from his intense alcohol coma yet. Ash doubts she or any of the others are ready to tell him his little sisters are missing and have been for several hours. Though really would they ever be ready to drop such news on someone like that.

  Chris however, Ashley doesn’t mind approaching. Sure he’s sleeping and someday he’ll hate her for disturbing is blissful slumber and bring forth bad news as well as the hangover headache that is sure to come. But she really needs him right now and that positive outlook of his ( that she so severely lacks at times ). She needs those stupid jokes he pulls to cheer her up, now more than anything. 

   Brushing her hair from her face, Ash rises from her seat on the couch and moves toward the a passed out Chris. Feeling only slightly guilty ( he’s gotta wake up eventually right? ), she nudges him and continues to do so until he makes a grunt of indignation. Making a comically displeased expression ( though really everything about Chris is comical ), he lifts his head up to look at her. “I don’t recall asking for a wake up call this early, Ash.”

   Despite herself she hopes that Chris still has some alcohol in his system. Though by his apparent obliviousness to her clear upset expression that might already be the case. If she’s gonna drop the bomb on him, she’d prefer on of them not to be sober ( should soften the blow a bit ). 

   “Sorry,” she mumbles almost completely intolerantly. Her own voice sounds foreign to her, much raspier and hollower than anything she’s ever sounded like. Must be from her lack of speaking in the last hours. “I just need to tell you something.”

   Now it seems like Chris is taking note of Ashley’s predicament. Making a very sloppy attempt of sitting up, he sort of gives her this look what is what she can only assume is a look of concern. But with him still being half asleep and his no doubt blossoming headache he just looks a little constipated. This is something that without fail would have made her roll over laughing had the situation been different, so her expression remains stony. “Ash, what’s happened?”

   “Beth and Hannah —— they’re gone.” Gosh she can hardly get the words out. Like if she doesn’t say it, it doesn’t make it real. But it is real and it’s all her fault. “We played this stupid prank on them and they ran into the woods hours ago and they still haven’t come back!” It’s feels weird finally talking about this to someone. All this time she’s just been been in her own little world and brooding, ignoring everything and everyone else in the lodge.

   He just sort of looks at her in disbelief for a moment, his look of constipation vanished and replaced with an expression of shock that actually makes him look sober for once. This is only shortly lived however before he stands up abruptly and begins shouting. “Oh my god, Ash! We’ve gotta go out there and find them!” He pauses for a split second, his head whipping around ( something he’s going to regret later probably ) to look  and point wildly at the still sleeping Josh, “We’ve got to wake up Josh and tell him!”

   Well if she still needed confirmation that Chris was still drunk, there is was. Trying to be as gentle as possible, Ashley shoves him back into his seat. Even when drunk, he’s got wonderful intentions but she’ll be dammed if she’ll let anyone else go into the snow tonight, especially someone who’s clearly still under the influence. “Chris we can’t. It’s not safe.”

   Half of her hates herself for saying this. By saying this she’s condemned her friends a horrible fate, again. Sure looking might not yield any results but not even trying? She might as well lock them out of the lodge and leave them to die. But it’s too great a risk for her. Chris, Chris means way too much to her at this point for her to take the slightest chance of losing him too, even if it could mean bringing Hannah and Beth back. It’s incredibly selfish but it’s just the way it is.

   “Safe?! Who cares! They need us Ash! How can you just stand there like that?!” As Chris continues to shout, his words grow if possible even louder. At this rate Josh most definitively will be waking up soon. She hates this. She hates that he’s completely right ( even when drunk ), yet she still has to put her foot down. 

   “How are you gonna help them, Chris?” Her voice is beginning to rise now, not nearly to the volume of Chris’ but louder than before all the same. She’s just so frustrated at this point. Regardless of whether he’s right or not, his protests are only making her more upset. “You were passed out before I got you up, you had trouble sitting up earlier, you’re drunk. If you out there you’re gonna get lost and freeze to death — And I can’t let that happen.”

   Almost as quickly as it was raised Ashley’s voice becomes quiet again. Gosh, if Chris wasn’t so near she doubts he wouldn’t have been able to hear her. She can’t even look him in the face she’s so embarrassed. Sure, to most people she’s hardly saying anything. Yeah of course she doesn’t want him to die, she doesn’t want anyone to die. But it’s more than that. She needs him, needs his stupid laugh and his stupid smile, she needs the sheer comfort his presence brings her. She loses that, she’ll completely fall apart. Because she cares so much about him, and she needs him and —-

   She loves him. Oh god she loves him. Not in the sense of loving her pet or a really cup of coffee, but like in love. Like those stupid romance movies and novels that she was foolish enough to make fun of, thinking she’d never be stupid like that. I mean really she shouldn’t be surprised. She’s always liked him in someway or another. She’ll even admit to being attracted to him or having a small crush but this, this incredibly intense feeling that makes her chest tighten and her stomach feel sick? This was more than what she bargained for.

   “Ash…” it’s Chris’ voice that brings her back to her senses, Chris the apparent love of her life. Though in all honesty she’s surprised it did considered that he too has lowered his voice from his maxim volume, giving the impression that he’s calmed down to some extent. Gosh, Chris sure has some emotional roller costars when he’s drunk. He gives her an incredibly knowing look, a look that makes Ashley want to melt into her boots and never be seen again. Is she as transparent as she feels? “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”

   “You don’t know that,” she mumbles, her brows furrowed as she frowns at him. She feels almost juvenile at this point, a frightened little kid not believing the reassurance she’s been given. Not that she doesn’t have any right to. What, with him and his complete lack of self preservation when others are at stake. In some respects its a wonderful quality in him and something she really does admire him for. But at this moment in time all she can find it is distressing. “People die every day,” she continues, not really wanting to but so desperately wanting to get her point across, “They die at different times, for different different reasons, at different stages of their life. You could die in 70 years of old age, you could get murdered in your sleep at 25, or you could be stupid and die out in the snow right now.”

   He opens his mouth to retort and quickly closes it, contorting his face in an intense expression of discomfort. Ashley takes a step forward, furrowing her brows and frowning in an concerned fashioned. “Chris, are you okay?” 

   He doesn’t answer for several seconds, seemingly afraid to open his mouth. “ —- I think I’m gonna be sick.” He answers sloppily and quickly, his face growing noticeably paler with each word. Well she can’t say she’s not surprised. There’s only so many stages of drunkenness he can go through before the first stages of a hangover start to kick in. Not that she knows from personal experience. 

   And now suddenly she’s Superman and he’s Lois Lane and she’s to his rescue ( she might as well save someone tonight right? ). In one fell swoop she’s got her arm around his shoulders and is leading him nearest bathroom. God she’ll settle for the kitchen sink just as long as whatever comes out of him doesn’t touch her.

   If only she’d knocked on something wooden when she’d thought that. Seems like moving quickly from the counter had upset Chris’ stomach further since now her puffer vest is splattered with a different color. Oh god gross! Not only gross but frustrating considering she can’t freak out like she usually would since that could make him even more sick and then she’ll have matching pants.

   He’s so lucky she…well um loves him. She wouldn’t do this for anyone else, hell Chris is still going to owe her a new vest when all this is over. But anyone else would probably be dealing with the freak out of a lifetime right now and would be left to their own devices if they still needed taking care of. But gosh, this is pretty low on the list of crazy things she’d do for him. Because honestly…there’s probably nothing she wouldn’t do for him.

   “Ash, Oh my god I’m so sorry,” Chris on the other hand looks like he’s getting ready for a freak out. Or maybe that’s just him preparing for the one he’s assuming she’s going to throw. He has known her for nearly four years after all. The expression on his face reminds her of one’s of puppies after their caught in a mess. Though in this case he’s a very sick puppy. 

   “Don’t worry, Chris. It’s fine,” she replies coolly, reaching to wipe his face with her free hand ( and quickly wiping that hand on her already soiled vest. ), “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” Looking slightly dumbfounded by her lack of a reaction, he nods very, very slowly and the two of them leisurely make their way to the bathroom.

The fourth was exactly what she needed, even if the circumstances wasn’t nearly what she wanted.

   Josh —- Josh is dead. 

   It’s not like Hannah and Beth this time, she saw it right before her very own eyes. Yet all the same it doesn’t feel possible, it doesn’t feel real. It feels like an insane, blood curdling fever dream that she’ll be bound to wake up from any moment now. But she hasn’t…believe her she’s even tried pinching herself. 

   Tears still run down her face in hearty streams, her throat tightening and her chest heaving as she continues to cry out. This, this is too much for her. She’d just been starting to let herself let go of losing two of her friends and now she’s forced to lose another in the most gruesome way possible. There’s no possible way she’s going to be able to move on from this. She’ll be scarred for life. 

   She hasn’t let go of Chris since they left Emily and Matt, clutching to him tightly like the frightened child she is. She wouldn’t do much good without him at this point anyway. Her legs are trembling and her knees buckle. She can hardly stand up on her own let alone walk all the way back to the lodge.

   He’s been so good for her, amazing really. Holding her through disastrous blow while she’s screaming and sobbing like a raving lunatic. The number of people she can count that would do that for her could fit one hand…and that’s including him. Though even on that even on that list of people, hardly any of those people would be able to take care of her like he does.

   Selfless, yet another admirable quality of his that she can never be, at least not to his extent. Sure she’s compassionate and generous. But she’s hardly altruistic she wouldn’t worry about other’s needs before her own when she’s this upset. 

   Not that he even comes off that way. No, Chris has become has become stone cold like a statue in an art museum, closed off and uninviting yet intriguing all the same. Like a statue you wonder what’s his story and wish to reach out and touch him even if it’s taboo. She knows his story, she’s been part of it for several years now yet he almost feels like a stranger.

   She can hardly believe how calm and collected Chris is. Sure she lost Josh her semi close friend that she hung out whenever he was with Chris or when the whole group hung out. But he lost Josh his best friend since 3rd grade, who you could never see without ( really it was kinda annoying sometimes when you’re trying to talk to one of them alone ). How is he more cool about this than she is?

   Not only the loss but the absolute stress and pressure he had to go through because of that freaking crazy test he had to go through. If it was her she’d be if possible even worse off than she is now. Though perhaps the walking in silence should have tipped her off. Few times in their friendship has Chris really, really gotten upset and he’d always been able to bounce back. This, this silence this miserable silence. This isn’t bouncing back. She obviously doesn’t expect him to feel back to normal in two seconds flat but she has to help him start recovering, right? He can’t let him carry this alone. What kind of friend would she be if she did?

   “Chris?” Her voice is barely audible. Whether that’s from apprehension or from all the crying she does not know. What she does know is that she’s going to keep talking until it’s Chris who’s talking and opening up to her. 

   “Ash, hang in there okay?” He murmurs in response, giving her a gentle squeeze. God, now that action makes her knees nearly buckle again for an entirely different reason. Clever maneuver, Chris trying to distract her from the pending subject, him ( of course this is all in her head there’s no way in hell he has a clue about how much she cares about him ). 

   Sniffling, she tries again, “Chris…are you —- ” Only to be cut off by a harsher voiced, more firm Chris, “Don’t Ash. Just don’t.” Someone who didn’t know him as well would have simply heard the sharp tones and seen the blank expression resting on his face and perhaps pressed on. But Ashley, she takes notice of the faintest break in his voice as he utters his final word to her

   Ashley’s not going to let him carry this alone, but maybe she’ll just have to be a silent participant. Nodding her head slowly, she gives his arm a fierce squeeze. The action says nothing and everything all at the same time. It all depends on how he takes the message really. But if she knows him at all, and she does —–  he’ll understand.

   “Thank you.” The words are can hardly be heard over the rustling of trees and the bitter wind even at their close distance. In turn he returns her squeeze with a weaker one of his own. She’s satisfied by this response until he stops walking abruptly, nearly causing her to fall over. Oh no, something’s happened. Has he changed his mind? Does he want to talk? “ Chris —– ” That’s as far as she gets because he’s roughly pulled her toward him in a tight hug, completely knocking the wind out of her. Well that’s not talking, but she’ll take it. 

   She can’t recall the last time she’s hugged Chris ( if she’s ever hugged Chris ). It’s not that they’re not close or that she doesn’t want to, Chris just isn’t really touchy feely or at least whenever she touches him he flinches or seems to get really uncomfortable. Even the smallest of things like reaching for the same bag of chips at the same time. You’d think they were in kindergarten again and she had cooties or something. Honestly he’s a pretty laid back and chill guy in every other respect. 

   But this hug, it’s like he’s an entirely different person, a more sensitive and slightly more emotionally in touch person. He’s holding onto her like she’d be killed on the spot if he let go of her ( she might at this point considering there’s a killer maniac on the loose ). While it is a rather forceful hug, almost bone crushing in fact but it’s what he needs, it something she didn’t realize she needed until the moment it happened. She needs it so much that when Chris does try to pull away, she holds tighter, burying her tear covered face into his shoulder. 

   “We’ll be okay.”

   “No, we won’t.”

   “No, we won’t.”

The fifth was a new beginning even if it came upon an end of an entire era

   Ashley wonders what it would be like to be living but have all your organs, bones, muscle, and everything else that really makes you alive be ripped from inside you. It most likely feels something similar to how she feels right now. 

    It’s almost nice in a way. After flipping out over every little thing ( and not so little things ) the entire night, finally finding some peace is great. While the peace does come from sleep deprivation and is hardly peace of mind so much as peace of body, Ash still has a strange sort of appreciation for the way she feels at the moment.

   She’s always feeling so much, too much really. It’s an odd sort of sensation just feeling sort of hollow. But that’s what grief is isn’t it? An endless stream of emotions and tears until the river just runs dry. Only she’s not sure what she’s grieving exactly. They all made it out —- well almost everyone. 

   But this doesn’t feel like her mourning Josh. Call her heartless but she needs to take some time before she can forget all the messed up things he did to her and Chris and cry over him like he’s her family dog. No, the way she feels would be if the old Josh had died, the Josh she already wept for in that creepy shed. This feels like the thing that’s died is in fact a piece of herself that she’ll never get back.  No matter how much time passes, no matter how hard she’ll try to forget, no matter how far she does come, this night at the lodge will never leave her. It’ll probably haunt all of them the rest of their lives.

   She’s been staring blankly at the same spot of wall of the ranger station for god knows how long now, her eyes still red and her cheeks covered in drying tears. She can’t even bring herself to move her head as the other survivors speak to each other in worn and tired tones let alone actually move herself to go over there. Oh well, she’d always been the slightly reserved out of the group in the beginning of their friendship. Why not go back to her roots a little?

   Going back to her roots —- if she wasn’t feeling so desolate she’d probably find that funny right now. Like she could ever be anything remotely resembling the person she was all those years ago or even the person she was two days ago. She could return to the naive girl who likes to babble on about the dozens of books she reads to people who don’t care. The concept was downright laughable.

   The worst part was how everyone else who knew her, everyone who’d had the privilege of being spared the terror of this entire experience, they would still see that girl, a girl who died hours ago in that shed. Her family was no exception, hell they’d probably be worse. They’d rewind even further back in time and see a little girl with pigtails and scraped knees and feel the need to protect ( not that she doesn’t need protecting but the point still stands ). 

   The door to the interviewing room opens and slumps out the only person who could possibly break Ashley out of her brooding —- Chris. A sort of shot of electricity bolts through her. Now on a different day this probably would’ve caused her to stand up out of her seat and go to him, but in her current state all she can manage is a head turn in his direction and a faint, raspy call of his name. 

   Now Chris doesn’t seem to be faring any better than Ash is at this point, his pace slow and his expression downcast. She’s not surprised in the slightest by this. He lost someone really important to him tonight, twice. What she is surprised by is dramatic change he goes through in response to hearing her voice and seeing her face. The creases in his brow vanish, his lips parting slightly giving him this sort of dazed yet serene looking expression. Serene…now that’s not the sort of look she’d expect from him right now.

   “Ash —– ” The name comes out as a barely audible whisper but it comes into her ears like music.  Now more than ever she wishes she could will herself to really move. Just so she can be closer to him. But it seems Chris had the same idea as he comes striding toward her, his pace faster though no less painful due to his limp. 

   She’s not sure what exactly what triggered it, the way he said her name, the way the came to her, or the way he looked at her. Ask her what happened in ten years and she’ll probably say she was still suffering from the trauma. But Ashley, emotional roller costar that she is just burst into tears once more. Though these tears, now currently flowing down her cheeks are different tear she didn’t expect for years and years to come…happy tears. Tears of happiness and relief that although so many things got screwed over, she still has Chris, her best friend and the person cares for most.

   Perhaps everything has turned to crap and maybe she won’t ever be the same but she’ll have Chris there to help her through it like he always has. It’s the most beautiful silver lining to the darkest storm cloud. And if she could trade forgetting what happened on that mountain for losing him she wouldn’t.

    It may not have been his original intention when he first starting heading her way and it certainly wasn’t hers but as soon as Chris reaches arm length Ashley finally does get to her feet and pulls him into a close embrace. She’s not going to let him go this time. No matter how hard he tries or how uncomfortable may feel ( though something tells her that he won’t be ). 

   They don’t even need to speak at this point. They just know each other by heart, every single fractured broken piece. They both know what lays in store for both of them. They know that they’ll eventually have to have a talk about what it is they are now. But there will be time for that, weeks, months, maybe years. But now the only thing either of them want to do with their current time is hold each other in each others arms.


End file.
